How to make a personalized advocacy toolkit for your child

As a coach for parents of children with neurological conditions and developmental disabilities, I receive many questions about obtaining services through government agencies, financing medical care, and addressing disability rights violations.

It can be especially tricky to get the specific information that you need because of your child’s unique circumstances, differences in State laws, and the type of issue that you are having (insurance, housing, school).

No matter what the issue is, I almost always refer families to a set of tools that I like to think of as a personalized advocacy toolkit.  Any parent can make their own toolkit and use it to advocate for their child.

The goal is to be prepared to give organized information about your child’s condition to a network of familiar advocates who can be mobilized at a moment’s notice.

First and foremost, before starting this process, you must repeat this mantra:  I AM NOT A BOTHER.  I AM NOT A BOTHER.  The people in the list below get paid to help you, and even if they didn’t, they would be honored to help a deserving parent like you.

Let’s begin.

Make a one-page fact sheet about your child’s condition, and keep it on hand electronically and hard copy.   The fact sheet should include:

  • overview of the condition
  • how the condition affects your child
  • links to further reading

You can whip out this fact sheet whenever someone asks about your child’s condition — at an IEP meeting, with a new nurse or therapist, or when you are contacting an elected official.

Create a timeline of medical events in your child’s life.  This should be as brief as possible (easier said than done), and like the one-page fact sheet, it will make it easier to communicate to individuals who are trying to help you.

Create a care binder to organize all of your child’s medical information including your fact sheet and timeline.  Seattle Children’s The Center for Children with Special Needs offers this downloadable kit.

Make a list of all of the advocacy and research organizations for your child’s condition and get to know the staff.  I am so fortunate that the epilepsy world has many wonderful nonprofits who have Charlie’s back, such as the Child Neurology Foundation, the Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance, The Infantile Spasms Project,  and the Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome Foundation, just to name a few.  Once you make your own list, find out if these groups have State and regional contacts in your area and reach out to them.  Often, these groups have employees or volunteers that are dedicated to helping parents solve problems related to access to care.  Sign up for their newsletters and find them on social media.

Know your State resources. Every State has at least one Parent Training and Information Center (PTI) to assist families of children with disabilities.  Use this interactive map to find your PTI!  This post tells you all about how to find State Medicaid waiver resources.

Get to know your pharmaceutical companies. If your child takes medication, find out if the manufacturer has advocacy programs, such as patient assistance to cover co-pays and other grant programs.  Some have other great resources such as regional meetups and caregiver blogs.  RxAssist is a good way to locate patient assistance programs.

Know NORD.  The National Organization for Rare Disorders has many patient assistance programs and other resources to help families with a variety of situations.

Maintain a list of grant programs.  Check out the Foundation Center’s page for grantseeking for individuals.  This blog post from Joyful Journey Mom is so comprehensive.  I am amazed every time I look at it!

Put your hospital social worker on speed dial.  Social workers are incredible, magical people who are here to support you and your child.  My son’s social worker just got him approved for home health aide hours after I tried and failed.  When in doubt, tell the social worker.

Meet your elected officials:  find your elected officials here and send them a note.  Better yet, if possible, visit them in person, even before you need their help.  When you are in a jam, especially involving State or Federal benefits, housing, or other areas that touch on public policy, send them a letter requesting their intervention.   The American Library Association has a sample letter that you can customize for your circumstances.

Find (or create) a social media group for the community of families at your local hospital.   The beauty of this group is that it allows you to meet other parents of children with a variety of conditions, but who share the same providers.  If you only stick with groups for your child’s condition, you will miss a wealth of knowledge (and new friends).  My local Facebook group is quite active and is terrific for troubleshooting issues ranging from parking at the hospital to recommending providers.

Find a lawyer or know how to find one.  I love Wrightslaw’s Yellow Pages for Kids.  Identify your local pro bono health law group, often run in affiliation with law schools.  Mine is the Pennsylvania Health Law Project and they are so helpful, especially when there is a problem with Charlie’s Medical Assistance.

Now that you have your toolkit, you are prepared for almost anything that comes your way! Don’t forget to update it every six months or so, and touch base with your favorite organizations frequently in case of staff turnover so that you know exactly who to call when you need help!

I would love for you to share your favorite resources with me in the comments!